By Ben Molyneux
I waited all Valentine’s Day in a state of anticipation. I knew exactly what I wanted, and I could feel the goosebumps rising on my skin every time I thought about it. Having waited all year for this one opportunity, I could barely contain my excitement to finally get what I was waiting for. And yet, as the day ticked slowly closer to ending, it was clear that I was once again going to be disappointed on the celebration of St Valentine.
I waited all Valentine’s Day in a state of anticipation. I knew exactly what I wanted, and I could feel the goosebumps rising on my skin every time I thought about it. Having waited all year for this one opportunity, I could barely contain my excitement to finally get what I was waiting for. And yet, as the day ticked slowly closer to ending, it was clear that I was once again going to be disappointed on the celebration of St Valentine.
You see, all I wanted to see was one
Christian article questioning Valentine’s Day. I’ve seen Christians argue and
question all sort of cultural happenings: hand-wringing over tattoos,
aggressive denouncements of watching Game of Thrones and more words written
about Halloween than there are drops in the ocean. I guarantee you someone is
currently writing a tortured article about what Shrove Tuesday being known as
Pancake Day says about our God-less culture. But I haven’t seen any hot
trending articles about Valentine’s Day.
Pictured: A tool of Satan. A delicious, beautiful tool. |
We know that, as Christians, we’re meant to
be counter-cultural, but I think we’ve lost our way. So many of our attempts
are surface-level, confronting the superficial issues without ever really
challenging much of the basis of our culture. We feel like we’ve done our part
but, in reality, we’re just as much a part of the culture as everyone else.
Take everyone’s favourite hot-button topic,
gay marriage. So often opposition to gay marriage is presented as this
counter-cultural act of rebellion against the zeitgeist, but the reality is
that it is nothing of the sort. There's the global perspective: Russia is one of
many countries currently cracking down on homosexuality. It wasn’t very long
ago that Uganda was trying to introduce the death penalty for being gay. Or the
historical perspective: there are an estimated 15000 men alive today that were chemically castrated by the UK government, simply for being gay. Or there's even the present day in this country: rates of suicide and self-harm are much higher in LGBT community, and it seems likely this is linked to the higher rate
of bullying they face.
Now, none of this says anything about the
legitimacy or otherwise of gay marriage. The point is, there’s nothing
counter-cultural about opposing gay marriage when the culture we are in is one
that is still oppressive, albeit less so, towards the LGBT community. Oppose
gay marriage all you want, but don’t pretend it’s counter-cultural.
“But Ben,” I hear you cry, “what was this
got to do with Valentine’s Day?” Good question. Valentine’s Day is an accepted
part of our culture, and largely goes unchallenged by the Church. But if we
want to be genuinely counter-cultural, Valentine’s is an excellent place to
start. On the surface it’s a very innocent celebration of love, but dig just a
little deeper and it’s clear that its roots are less savoury.
After all, Valentine’s Day’s main point is
this: buy things to demonstrate love. I can’t imagine a more capitalistic
holiday, and it’s thoroughly un-Christian. Love is about self-sacrifice, about
giving of yourself to the other. Splashing cash around is, in reality, a cheap
way to love. Valentine’s day, as it’s represented in our culture, takes love
and makes it about money.
It’s also often deeply sexist. I have yet
to see a single Valentine’s advert that isn’t sexist on some level. They often
reinforce sexist myths that are prevalent in our culture: women use sex to get
love, men use love to get sex; all women like flowers, chocolate, princesses
and the colour pink; men only show their affection under duress. It’s nonsense,
but it’s deeply ingrained into our cultural horizons. And Valentine’s Day
serves to deepen their grip on our cultural consciousness further.
I’m not saying there’s anything inherently
wrong with celebrating Valentine’s Day. But if we’re as desperate as we claim we
are to be counter-cultural Christians, critiquing Valentine’s and its roots
are a good way to start. Let’s stop getting caught up in the superficial when dangerous
un-Christian ideas are endemic in our culture. We need to stop salving our
desire to be subversive by protesting cheap, hot-button issues without dealing
with the big issues in our culture. Being counter-cultural is our calling; in a
capitalistic, misogynistic culture, maybe the Christian thing to do is to criticise
Valentine’s Day. Who knows: what starts on Valentine’s may end up lasting for
life.
Shane Claiborne's Valentine's post on Facebook is worth a look for the real meaning of Valentine's. Apparently in some European countries, it's common to spend time with friends and family, often eating dinner, on Valentine's as a display of love for each other, which is pretty cool and worth looking into it as well.